W. Michael Phibbs

At some point in every person’s life, something bad has happened which was caused by somebody else. You may have been in a car accident, the target of an assault, fell for a con-artist’s phone call, or a close friend betrayed your trust. The truth is, bad things happened to good people. A person’s character and adaptability is revealed in such hardship. Will you be a victim or a victor?

No matter what has occurred your life, your perspective is the key to how it turns out. After the incident, will you go, “Well that suck’s” and attempt to pick up the pieces and move on saying, “This will not beat me.” Or, do you say, “This suck’s, my life is ruined, and I can’t live this way.” Granted, getting over hurt feelings is easier than recovering from injuries sustained by an IED or financial ruin caused after falling for a con-artist’s smooth talk promising of fortune after you invest your life savings in his scheme.

It’s simple; when someone hurts you, it sucks and always has a bad impact. The effect may be physical deformity or lasting deep down psychological impact, Now, for the good news, go to any book store and you can find shelves of books written by people who could have been victims but decided to be victors. The people who overcome adversity don’t forget what happened to them. They adapt and say “I’m not going to let this define me. I will not let it win, I will win, I will not be a victim, I will be a victor.”

People who are victims allow the circumstances define who they are. They are not willing to accept that things have changed. They don’t understand that a detour sign has been placed onto the roadmap of life. I have heard more than once, “But I had everything planned out, and I’m not going to change my ways.” The people who refuse to accept that things have changed and are unwilling to adapt to new circumstances are the ones who allow themselves to remain a victim. It’s not that they can’t change, rather they are unwilling to change. They are rigid and linear thinking, A,B, C, …you get it. Hint, after a while, people get tired of someone claiming they are a victim.

Victors are adaptable. They are the individuals who say, “With enough pressure, I can force a square rod through a round hole.” People who are willing to be adaptable don’t look at the unexpected things that happen as roadblocks. They learn from them, they realize they must reprogram the GPS and set out in a new direction. Maybe, it will be better. Maybe you become interested in new activities. Maybe you become an activist for a cause. Perhaps you become someone who people in similar circumstances look up to. Or, you go on living your life under new circumstances. How you react to life’s challenges is personal. There is only one you, and no one can make you feel or react differently from how YOU DECIDE to react. When something bad happens, ask yourself. Am I going to be rigid and be a victim? Or, am I going to be adaptable, make the best of it, and be a victor?